The Greatest Video Game EVER MADE!!!
I can barely see the screen I’m that giddy with excitement. This is probably the greatest thing to happen to the human race since sliced bread, penicillin and Alyson Hannigan. In June 2009, The Great Giana Sisters DS will be released.
I KNOW! HOW AWESOME IS THAT! HOLY FRENCH BREADSTICKS IN A PORN FILM, PEOPLE!
Now as you all know, The Great Giana Sisters is one of the best video games of all time. It’s one failing – if it can be considered a failing, because to me it’s its greatest asset – is that it’s best played on a Commodore 64.
The Nintendo DS is one of the greatest game systems of all time. It’s one major failing is that, unless you’re one of the cool kids with a homebrew cart, is that there is no way to play Great Giana Sisters on it.
WELL NOW THAT PROBLEM IS OVER. One of the greatest games ever made is coming to one of the greatest gaming systems ever made so therefore it will be THE GREATEST THING EVER DONE BY HUMANKIND.
Seriously, everyone out there who are still making video games: Just stop. There is no point any more. You’ve been bested. It’s like making music after The Beatles did Rubber Soul. You’re kidding yourselves. Video games have now reached their zenith and we can wrap it all up and go home.
CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO I MEAN DAMN
Dear people who are making this: I love you. I love you so, so much, with a love that is as pure as it is somewhat creepy. Send us beta releases so we may fawn over every pixel, sound effect and gaming bliss contained therein.
Now excuse me I need to clean myself up.
