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The Podcats: Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword

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Review: Punch Out

Reviewed by Lisvender

Available on Nintendo Wii. Developed by Next Level Games. Published by Nintendo.

I hate fighting games. They’re archaic, frustrating things that only elitist enthusiasts appreciate anymore. Punch-Out!!, however, is not a fighting game. In fact, you could argue that it’s not even a boxing game. Punch-Out!! is to boxing as NBA Jam is to basketball: it’s a simplified and exaggerated caricature that takes only the most exciting moments of a sport and condenses them into one hell of a video game.

after lots of scrolling, a SFW image from Punch Out

Little Mac, a junior from some Bronx high school, has teamed up with retired fighter Doc Louis to claim the championship of the World Video Boxing Association. It won’t be an easy trip, as the WVBA is quite possibly the worst-regulated sporting association in history. It has no weight classes, and no rules against flagrant cheating. Most of Mac’s fourteen opponents are twice his size, and could probably snap his neck like celery. Thankfully, they also have about half of Mac’s intelligence, as they all announce their punches with peculiar tells.

Your challenge is to recognize these tells, avoid the incoming punches, and then respond with a flurry of counterpunches. Little Mac can make left and right jabs to the face and left and right hooks to the gut. He can duck down, dodge left and right, and block jabs. If you manage to slug the other guy at an opportune moment, you can earn stars that can be used to throw a powerful uppercut. Knock him down three times in one round for a TKO. This is the way of the Punch-Out, as it’s been known for decades, and though it appears simple, it’s amazingly addictive.

this one, not so much

Mac will take on thirteen fighters in order to become champion. That may not sound like very many, but once you have the belt, you’ll have to defend it. All your old foes will line up for a chance at the new champ, and they’ll come at you with new tricks and techniques that will trip you up and make you search desperately for openings.

Since Punch-Out!! only involves Mac and his opponent at any given time, a lot of effort is put into making those opponents interesting. Next Level Games must have a platoon of expert animators under its employ, because they’ve done an amazing job at filling the fighters with personality. Your opponents preen, strut, taunt, and smirk like God’s gifts to video games, and you’re going to like some of them in spite of yourself. Glass Joe, the lovable wimp, displays a delightful mix of haughtiness and fright, while Aran Ryan, known only for being indistinct in his SNES days, has been turned into a wild-eyed madman who smuggles weapons into the ring. Even the speechless Little Mac is likably determined. The voice acting is excellent, with Doc Louis providing mostly useless moral support from the corner, and your international opponents firing threats in their respective languages. Strangely, the game’s Subtitles option only works for Doc, but not for your opponents. You’ll have to be multilingual to understand their lines.

The incredible soundtrack boasts catchy Bill Conti-style tunes with electric guitar, piano, and lively brass. You’ll hear a lot of rearranged versions of the NES Punch-Out!! theme, but they vary enough to keep you from getting tired of it. Some of the themes, like those of Russian soft-drink guzzler Soda Popinski and the monstrous Mr. Sandman, are iPod-worthy. This is some of the best music I’ve ever heard in a video game.

Here are some outrageously homoerotic pics of Nintendo’s Fellate Out!!

The only aspect of Punch-Out!! that makes me shake my head is the control. The game offers three options for control: using the Wii Remote and Nunchuk for motion-controlled punching, the Wii Remote turned on its side for button-controlled punching, and then the same two options combined with the Wii Balance Board for motion-controlled ducking and dodging. I don’t own a Balance Board, so I can’t give an opinion on it, but I’ve heard that using it sucks. I used the Wii Remote and Nunchuk successfully through most of the game, and I personally prefer it. Like other games that use motion controls for canned animations, the game doesn’t register a “punch” until you’ve a made a sufficient motion with the controller. Mac’s punches are so quick, though, that by the time you’ve extended your arm, Mac’s fist is in his enemy’s face. The motion controls work well up until the last few Title Defense matches, when beating and countering your opponents requires wicked-fast speed and reaction time. Even the split second that it takes to make a punch motion can ruin your timing and cause you to lose. You’ll have to unplug the Nunchuk and resort to old-fashioned button control to win here.\

Especially against that Bald Bull. God, I hate him.

This is the disappointing thing about Punch-Out!!: it demonstrates the faults of motion controls in video games. They’re only effective and responsive when the onscreen action corresponds to the player’s real-life movements one-to-one. Unfortunately, this drops the capabilities of the game character to the limits of the player’s big, flabby body. Contrariwise, games in which characters can do amazing things, like knock out a giant Turkish boxer, force the player to move in very specific ways in order to trigger canned animations that are more easily controlled by buttons. With games like Punch-Out!!, New Super Mario Bros. Wii, Donkey Kong Country Returns, and Kirby’s Epic Yarn, all of which are played with archaic, NES-style controls, Nintendo is more or less apologizing for the steps they’ve made, and admitting that video games really work better with buttons. It’s too bad that Microsoft and Sony didn’t get the message.

Despite this embarrassing backpedaling, Punch-Out!! is a ton of fun. The give-and-take of the fight is timeless, and far more logical and enjoyable than the overblown chaos of Street Fighter. If you or someone you know expects a Wii beneath the tree this year, be sure that a copy of Punch-Out!! winds up beside it. No matter how you choose to play it, you’ll find it’s one of the best games on the system. If more fighting games and sports games followed Punch-Out!!’s ways, it would be a merrier world. This is one of the best games on the Wii.

Controller1.com rating: 3/3

Review: SUPER MARIO GALAXY 2

Reviewed on Wii. Developed by Nintendo. Published by Nintendo

Mario is back. Again. So soon?

Super Mario Galaxy came out in 2007 and had Wii gamers not yet accustomed to feeling cheated after E3 cheering for Nintendo’s latest take on 3D Mario. After the minor let down (ie WORST MARIO EVER) of the Gamecube’s Super Mario Sunshine, Galaxy felt like an exciting move back to the more abstract worlds we all know and love in the Marioverse. But near perfect review scores didn’t translate to the multi-quadtrillion unit  sales Nintendo had expected from their flagship and despite being reviewed highly, it was an imperfect game with too many cool ideas not fully developed. Here in 2010, in the wake of the continuing success of the 2D Mario games on DS and Wii, Galaxy 2 has arrived. And it’s taking names.

SMG2 is more or less a refined expansion pack to the first game, but one that substantially improves on it in nearly every way (ie Uncharted 2 is better than Uncharted). Gone is the mind-numbing-to-navigate hub, replaced with a simpler, smaller hub in the shape of Starship Mario (if you need to ask…) with world selection far more streamlined, harkening back to a Super Mario World on the SNES level of simplicity).

So you pilot Starship Mario, them select an available galaxy, then Mario will fly there (as he did in the first title. Each Galaxy may have a few stars to collect, some only appearing later on to encourage you to revisit some levels later, but often in a way that you don’t feel you’re playing the exact same level twice to beat two different objectives. Traversing the same geometry on revisits is thankfully kept to a minimum (I mean you’ve selected what star you’re aiming for) but there are still the mystery stars that are hidden throughout. I just ignored these troublemakers since they are just trouble-making belligerent drunks.

Green mushrooms giving you another life? Check! Red Mushrooms temporarily doubling your max health? Check? Bumblebee suit? Check. Fireflower? Check? Princess captured by Bowser? Check?

The puzzles on each level, much of which has brought over from the first game, feel more organic and less forced overall. Perhaps it’s just that the game feels so much more polished than the first game. Not that the first game was rough, but SMG2 feels like the gameplay has been polished so thoroughly that Nintendo is almost daring you to find something wrong with it. I dare you. Dare to hate.

The thing that really makes this game stand out for me is Yoshi. Now, I’ve never really played games with Yoshi outside of Super Mario World on the SNES but here my favourite levels have been those with Yoshi and his abilities. The Drill is also a favourite of mine, though it’s hard to say how much of this is new since I only got about 50% of the way through SMG. This game has made me think about revisiting the original. But there are obviously things I like about the sequel that just weren’t there the first time around. And I HATED New Super Mario Brothers on the Wii.

Your brother Luigi is back and at times you will be given the option to play as him. Not that I’ve found much of a reason to play as Luigi but he’s there all the same. A few new suits and talents are used really well but for the most part, if you’ve played the first game, you’ve played this. If you haven’t played the original, play this. It’s just better.

The graphics are perfect, everything looks crisp (even on a Full HD TV with upscaling) though with some jaggies of course. I do know that the Wii doesn’t translate well to using a computer monitor, but a game like this works so well with the hardware. Maybe that’s the lesson of the Wii. If you can make the art look clean and bright, it well sell to people regardless of high poly character models with realistic textures.

The sound is what you expect of a Mario game, even though most of the sound and music is recycled from the first game- not that you can realistically change the sound of a Mario game. Going down a pipe sounds the same as always, collecting Yoshi is the same as it was on the SNES, etc.. Charles Martinet is back as Mario and Luigi  so you can expect all manner of falsetto Ethnic stereotyping as you play this delightful title.

I wasn’t sure I was going to stick with it, but it grew on me more and more as I played it. Earlier this year, I toyed with selling my dust-gathering Wii but SMG2 has made me glad I haven’t (yet) disposed of the console.

Controller1.com Rating 3/3

E3 2010- Day 1 Sony, Nintendo and More

So the first day proper and we begin with the two big boys.

Sony‘s big push is 3D and Move so let’s have some specifics

• Gran Turismo 5 coming out in November. This year.

• Killzone 3 in 3D in early 2011.

• Playstation Plus is a US$50 annual fee in order to get free demos, a free game each month, DLC and auto-patching
• Twisted Metal coming to PS3 in 2011. Announced by the Jaffemesiter.
• inFamous 2 appears as a 2011 title.

• Some exclusive PS3 content for moth Mafia II and Assassin’s Breed Brotherhood. PS3 also has a MP beta for the latter.
• Portal 3 coming to PS3. Steamcloud integration for auto patching. Apparently it’s the best console version. Announced by Valve head Gabe Newell- who’s not been shy about calling the PS3 some interesting names.
• Dead Space 2 special ed comes with Move version of Dead Space Extraction
• Medal of Honor reboot on PS3 comes with Medal of Honor Frontline remake in HD.
• Move games just as much clones of popular Wii franchises as most of the MS Kinect games shown.
• Sly Cooper Collection in 3D and a new 3D Motorstorm. 3D in lots of third party games.
• Heroes on the Move is a move title with sony mascots such as Ratchet and Clank, Jak and Daxter in a title together.
• Sorcery looks to be harry potter/ zelda with the move as a wand
• Move controller $50, Navigator $30.
• more PSP and PSN games. no PSP hardware update…yet
• no price cuts… yet

Nintendo

• The 3DS was announced. It’s black and blue, offers 3D games and movies without glasses, an analog slide pad controller, motion sensing and gyroscope, 2 cameras to take 3D pics, DSI compatibility and it’s launch games will be Kid Icarus 3DS. No word on actual tech specs other than the 3.5″ screens, or price or release date (Tokyo Game Show, perhaps?)

• The new Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword shown for the first time. Updated slightly from the look of Twilight Princess (that was simultaneously a Gamecube title, though this is the Wii, remember), though lighter in tone. Uses Motion Plus.

• Epic Mickey put in an appearance and looks like one to watch.
• Wii Party is coing out here and seems a curious mix of what would happen if Wii Play was actually designed as a full game.
• Donkey Kong Country Return, a 2D side scroller from Retro Studios (the First Person Metroids)

• Kirby is also back as a 2D platformer on Wii, with an interest fabric texture look.
• Mario Sports Mix comes out in 2011, a blend of arcade sports action. Think Smash Bros with basketball and football.
• Updated Goldeneye for the Wii
• no price cuts

Activision

• DJ Hero 2 will appear in October so that scratchers and DJ wannabe can wear one headphone like any truly cool person who’s deaf in one ear.
• Tony Hawk Shred- Uses the same controller as Ride so here’s a first example of good money after bad. Like developing an N64 game in 2003.
• Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock will feature Bohemian Rhapsody and 50 other songs I don’t give a rats ass about.
• True Crime: Hong Kong is back, presumably without original developers Luxoflux- recently closed due to reasons best known to Activision
• Goldeneye for Wii- with Daniel Craig’s visage
• and a little game called Call of Duty Black Ops from Treyarch. Funny how people will be more stoked about a Treyarch game than IW’s take on the series.

E3 2009- part 2. I Need a Drink

To continue: the Sony and Nintendo conferences were held today, the first day of the show, proper.

So let’s get into it….

Sony
God of War III is coming in March 2010. It looks like a painting come to life according to David Jaffe and I’m not going to argue with him, merely ask him not to visit goth art galleries anymore whilst inebriated. the fourth game in the trilogy 9(!) will close out the series (!).

PSP Go! was announced. People were shocked. People who woke up from coma’s were shocked anyway. Its a slimmer, UMD less PSP that will go on sale in a few months for US$250 alongside the current PSP-3000. PSP will finally see Gran Turismo portable, which seems to have taken a leaf out of Pokemon and Monster Hunter’s huge popularity in Japan by allowing trades over wifi. There’s a new Metal Gear portable game, Peacewalker or Pisstaker or something and this looks to be set a few years after Metal Gear 3. There’s the previously mentioned Little Big Planet PSP, Motorstorm and Assassin’s Creed PSP; as well as a newly announce PSP Resident Evi, PSP Infamous and PSP Soul Calibur.

On the PS3 front there’s the duel wand motion controller, currently unnamed and listed for release sometime in 2010. You can now get your waggle in three different flavours, depending on which system you own. As far as games go there weren’t many surprises, as most had been either announced, teased or leaked before the show. What games were shown mostly look pretty cool. Uncharted 2 looks to be fantastic, but we new that. MAG looks to be big and expansive but we knew that. The demo was nice in showing the strengths and weakness of the concept. Another quick look at the new Ratchet game in one of Sony’s many montages and a new Final Fantasy online game, FFXIV for release in 2010 on PS3 only.
But the exclusive that looks most intriguing is Agent, from Rock Star. Its set in the 70′s so I’m sure we’ll get that period completely inaccurate (you know early 70′s hippie fashions and giant afros with disco music). You’re an assassin. Its a Rock Star game so you’re never going to be handing out leaflets in a mall.
Assassin’s Creed 2, not shown on the Ubi conference, was demoed but as Jade Raymond was no where to be seen we’ll skip that. Just kidding. Can this game redeem the flaws of the original? Time will tell. PS3 is getting some exclusive DLC. Its called the PSP version and if you buy that, you get some extra weapons to use. Also shown is a cartoon racer where you can make and share tracks. Moving right along, there’s The Last Guardian, from the makers of Ico and Shadow of the Colossus. Even though the trailer showed up on the web a few days ago, its still nice to see.
Overall, better than last year but we knew 95% of the content previously so the surprise factor was lower. Personally, GoW III, Ratchet and Uncharted 2 are my must haves on PS3 out of what was shown here.

Nintendo
Well, if they could put the word Mario into any more products they would. They started by talking about mario’s evolution and how they want to take Mario into 4D. By this they mean a 4-player coop version of All New Super Mario Brothers for Wii. A 2D renaissance has taken place with this and Epic’s XBLA game announced yesterday, but hopefully this won’t merely be the DS game upscaled for Wii (though bets on that’s exactly what this is).
Of course there would be WiiFit 2. Nintendo may not be making the kewl games like they used to but your grandma needs something to do in between lawn bowls and writing angry letters to the newspaper. Motion Plus was pimped yet again, with what seemed to be a familiar montage of what you could do with it (deja vu circa the Wii’s2006 launch).
Wii Sports resort seems to be less of a tech demo and more of a “this is what we should have done all along” game.
Along the same vein, Red Steel 2 (Motion plus only, it seems) is going to try and fulfill the promises Ubi made in 2006 with the big selling but reviled original.
We have a Final Fantasy game for Wii, Crystal something. Open world gayness from SE. Weeeeee. A DS Kingdom HeartZzzzzzzzz. Mario and Luigi told from Bowser’s side. oh dear. Golden Sun. Oh well, some fanboys should be happy. But Women’s Murder Club? Cops: A recruit ?. I think my DS will be getting dustier and dustier.
Mario Vs Donkey Kong Mini’s March Again, is more puzzling action, this time with a level editor- buts its a DSi Ware game only. As is a Wario Ware title where you make your own games. I sometimes thing games where the idea is to make your own games is rather lazy on the part of developers.

There was a long build up to an announcement by Satoru Iwata (Nintendo Japan Head dude). The build up was to one of those cheap things you clip on your finger to monitor your heart-rate. The internet goes “huh?” The next announcement lead to believe its a joke at the expense of fanboys. Its Super Mario Galaxy 2 for Wii!

Also, making sense of the recent bundling of the three Metroid prime games on one disc is a new Metroid Game from Team Ninja. Its called Other M. And its semi side scrolling.

FAQ: The Wii

Hardcore gamers feel the Wii and its success might mean the death of HD gaming. With the Wii’s lower development costs and higher user base (as of writing this, there are more Wiifit owners than PS3 owners in Japan), the system is starting to attract a lot more attention from publishers and developers, possibly at the cost of 360/PS3 focused titles. Core gamers fear the Wii the same way PC gamers feared the original Xbox would tempt the ranks of PC developers. Today, we answer some common questions from hardcore gamers.

Why are there so many crappy minigame compilations on the Wii?
Publishers, like hardcore gamers, had their attention focused squarely on the Xbox 360 and the PS3 rather than the Wii. With the PS2 being such a juggernaut last generation, publishers thought Sony was bound to pull a hat trick (rather than pull a hamstring) and concentrated on PS3 with Wii  an afterthought. After the Gamecube, wouldn’t you have written off Nintendo? Minigame compilations and PS2 ports seemed to be the easiest way to release titles on the Wii.

When will we see hardcore games on the Wii?
Super Mario Galaxy was released in 2007 and was critically well received. It was outsold by critically reviled Mario and Sonic at the Olympics. Metroid Prime 3: Corruption was outsold by anything that you hate. No More Heroes, Zack and Wiki, Mad World and Boom Blox sold far less than Wii-Music. So the answer is, they won’t.

Is the Wii Gay?
No. The Wii is not gay. It just has more than just shooters, survival horror and racing games.

No seriously, is it gay?

No

Why do Wii games look blurry on my 1080p Bravia LCD HDTV?

This old chestnut. Your Wii looks blurry because every Sony HDTV features a Digital Signal Processing chip that can add defocus effect when it detects a  Wii is connected. It automatically applies the filter so that Wii games look like a Vaseline commercial.

Dude?
Is that a question? Seriously. Is that a question?

Even though the Wii is super successful, why is Nintendo re-releasing GameCube games such as Pikmin, Metroid and Mario Tennis on Wii discs where the only update is so the titles can be controlled by a Wiimote nunchuck combo? Have they given up on making games?

That’s really two questions. The answer to the first is they are lazy and like money and this shit sells like a whore who gives away 25% off coupons in those free newspapers they give away in the supermarket. Er, I forgot the second question.

I said, “Has Nintendo given up on making games?”

Yes. Yes, they have.