The Podcats: Rage and Gears of War 3
Gears of War 3 and Rage reviewed
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Online Gaming Survival Guide
With the explosion of Multiplayer gaming these days, sometimes the old hands forget what it is like to be the new guy. So if you’re new to the world of online gaming, or have been away for a while, here’s what you need to know.
1. You are a n00b. Whatever you do, you are a n00b, even if you’ve been playing the game for years, you are a n00b. You are a n00b if you die a lot, a n00b if you win and a n00b and if you do anything that results in beating another player with a higher ranking fairly and squarely, you are a n00b.
See also nub, newb, noob, just got the game, huh?
2. You use hax. If you play the game using elements placed there for use by the developers of the game, you hax. If you use last stand, you are hax. If you use a scope on an AK47, you are hax. If you use anything at all other than hip firing a bolt action rifle, you are hax. See also get some skill, grow a dick, etc
3. You are cheating. If you use a rocket launcher against another player, or a grenade launcher, you are cheating. Even if they just used the same tactic against you, YOU my friend, are the cheat, you cheater. Mr Cheater C Cheaterton III (really you’re the IV, but you’re such a cheater).
4. You are gay. Even if you’re married with six kids and had more tail than everyone else in the game (which wouldn’t need to be all that much), you are gay. See also: gh3y, WoW
5. You are of colour, Mr Albino from Sweden
6. You are lagging. Even though you’re not. See glitching
7. You are glitching. Despite the fact that network communication iver the internet is quite a complicated and marvelous thing, you are the reason the connection is poor and that they are losing. See also lagging
8. You are camping. This means you have found a quiet spot to fire off a sniper rifle and that your opponents are too lazy to come around behind you to take you out.
9. Bullshit. Whenever someone thinks they are better than you and you kill them, it is obviously bullshit. See also: hax, n00b, lagging, glitching
10. You should develop an interest in the thoughts of 12 year old children. Otherwise you will fail to appreciate the rich social commentary that is only possible from players of this age. Children say the darnest things such as “fuck you, you black jew fag hax nub lagger.” It’s so cute. They think they’re people.
11. If the child in question is headset enabled, you are in for a treat. Not only will you get an aural Live Journal update, but you may also experience the joy that is the favourite music of this child either through an MP3 playing while the child plays, or if you’re really lucky, a live rendition of said child’s favourite song or songs (though it’s usually just the same song over and over again. Actually it’s usually only the first verse over and over).
12. Fuck IWNet. See also Fuck Kotick, Fuck Activision, Fuck Infinity Ward and Fuck Bowling up his Fat Pipe.
So there you have it. The reasons why I never plugged in my headset to my consoles or PC, the reasons to keep out of team chat and the reasons why single player games will never die.
2008 Game of the Year of the Year of the Year 2008- part 2: July- December releases
Well our look back on the big hitters continues (part one can be found here)
THE BIG
SOUL CALIBUR IV (360, PS3)
This game hit in July at a time when there weren’t that many big games coming out. SCIV proved to be a decent hit despite having Star Wars characters muddying the waters for the hardcore.
SPORE (PC, MAC, DS)
Will Wright’s latest formed the basis of who-knows how many GDC keynotes over the last few years. It came and made a huge splash, and then the complaining began. Spore promised something unconventional, but delivered a compilation of other games.
LEGO BATMAN (everything. Colecovision coming 2009)
Lego Conquest of gaming continues. Its not linked to the Dark Knight, more based on the comics (but with some cues from the 80s/90′s Batman films. And its more or less identical on every platform. You liked Lego Indy, right? You liked Lego Star Wars, right? You like Lego, right? You like Batman, right? Then here’s a game you will like.
SAINT’S ROW 2
Despite smelling of xerox toner, this series has managed to carve a small niche of its own. It fixes some GTA flaws, adds its own and has its own slightly off tone to the proceedings that 13 year old boys love. They wanna play at gangstas, not soldiers.
FAR CRY 2
Another sandbox shooter. This time, its set in Africa and not as much fun as the original console Far Cry. We will focus test this title over Christmas so subscribe to the Focus Test through the links at the right of the page
DEAD SPACE (PS3, PC, 360)
EA’s new survival horror greatest hits game impressed those that played it. A sequel, while not ruled out might have to wait for these guys to finish the Dante’s Inferno game just announced.
FABLE II
Wow, they managed to outdo the original and also managed to deliver on a fair amount of the hype. The amount of complaining that usually arises after a hyped game hasn’t been as bad as say, Spore, but then maybe Molyneux’s learned his lesson. “My next game will be bigger than Jesus’ balls”
Oops, spoke too soon. REVIEW
ROCK BAND 2 and GUITAR HERO WORLD TOUR
I’m lumping these together for a simple reason. There are only really superficial differences between these games. RB is more fun off the bat if you just wanna play every song where GHWT makes you work for the cooler songs. GHWT has some extra pads on the drum kit and the song creator. The song creator is an absolute abomination to use with the controllers.
MIRROR’S EDGE (PS3, PS3)
Wow, this was meant to be the second coming before it came out to mixed reviews and stagnant sales. Clint loved this in the podcast and we will be posting a written review in the new year. The way EA talks about this game now in business circles does not bode well for the future of the series.
LITTLE BIG PLANET (PS3)
Remember when I said GTA IV was the most overrated game of the year? Well, meet number 2.
Little big planet is a fun platformer with a ton of replayability (if you want everything) and those
tools for making your own levels. However, to call it Game of the year is misleading as the make your own level is a toy. I played a few levels that had been posted online and was amused more than impressed. Is it youtube for gaming? Yes, in the same way You Tube is filled with Videoblogs from people whose emo angst you don’t give a fuck about. Is it worth buying a PS3 for? No. Is it worth getting if you already have a PS3? Hell yes. Its a cool platformer with some infuriating difficulty in later levels. REVIEW
GEARS OF WAR 2 (360)
Why lie? I loved this game. So do the guys who play this on Live. That is when the matchmaker service actually works. Horde mode is fantastic and a lot of fun and the single player managed to do enough new and different than the original (which I liked but not loved) REVIEW
RESISTANCE 2 (PS3)
Another on on my list to play when time is available. R2 features, by some accounts, excellent multiplayer, great coop and so-so single player. Its been outsold by our next contender, but if you only buy one alternative universe WWII shooter, don’t buy a used copy of Resistance: Fall of Man cos that’s shit, get Resistance 2.
CALL OF DUTY WORLD AT WAR (PC, PS3, 360, Wii, PS2, DS, PSP)
The haters expected to hate it. Most of those who’ve migrated from CoD4 are finding it like minded but different enough for it to be a draw. Back to WWII with M1 Garands, KAR98′s and Thommy guns. BLISS! Its a pity Activision couldn’t have actually supported CoD4 properly a bit longer with map packs and the like. I mean, it’s not like they don’t like money. REVIEW
WORLD OF WARCRAFT: WRATH OF THE LICH KING (PC)
Well, it makes money hand over fist. The WoW fans love it and are lapping it up. They’ve even made it easy for people who’ve never played WoW to step in (you know the type, gank fodder and people with jobs/ sex lives)
LEFT 4 DEAD (PC, 360)
Left for Dead is the Horde Mode in Gears 2 and the Nazi Zombie mode from CoD WaW and is a whole game based around it. The thing is, its full price and compared to orange box, which offered so much more, it hard to say this is a good value proposition. OB was great on console apart from TF2 which sucked ass since Valve don’t seem capable of coding an XBL game.
De Blob (Wii)
Hey I was writing this and thinking to myself “were there any decent Wii games from the second half of 2008?” Well, there’s De Blob. Paint the town red. Or green. Or Blue.
Animal Crossing: City Folk (Wii)
This game seems to be going down very will south of the Mason Dixon line. Who knew?
Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts (360)
Well, I was a HUGE fan of the originals back in the N64 days but yet I still haven’t picked this one up despite its cheapness. Why? I will, I promise. Building things- not my forte (see LBP) but the Banjo universe has always held a special charm.
Prince of Persia (PC, PS3, 360)
Well, there I was all set to ignore this title. I was fooled by PoP Warrior Within and Two Thrones. I even lowered my guard and bought Assassin’s creed (eventually). I was done with Ubisoft games for a bit. Then its come out and wowed everyone. So now I will play it. You should probably take a look as well. If this comes close to replicating the bliss I found in POP: Sands of Time, I will be happy.
Fallout 3. (360, PC, PS3)
I’ve been looking forward to this one for a while. I ‘d have played it by now if time had been available and Fable II hadn’t turned up first. Its a huge city full of choices and spoilers. Play this when you can.
AND THEN THERE’S…
Dazed and Confused:
Guitar Hero Aerosmith (everything bar the 3DO)
Yes I bought this and it was fun enough for what it was. Its the last guitar only Guitar Hero game to be released and I don’t mind this band’s catalogue but there’s not enough material to fill a full priced game with no DLC and no compatibility with the new GHWT games.
BROTHERS IN ARMS (360, PC, PS3)
Too late, Too dated and Too Meh. Its not because its a WWII game, its because its just not as much fun as the other WWII games.
FACEBREAKERS
EA’s Boxing game took a dive in the third quarter.
MERCENARIES 2
It has its it champions. A month or two earlier and it could have gained some traction
FRACTURE
Oh dear. A case where the central tenet of the game is destroyed by a Penny Arcade Comic
PS- some games not mentioned for ethical reasons. We don’t write about projects we’re involved with.
Jesus, it seemed like a good idea at the start.
oh wait, you think I forgot Too Human?
TOO HUMAN (360). Oh dear. What’s to be said that hasn’t already been said.
Gears of War 2 review
On Xbox 360. Developed by Epic Games. Published by Microsoft Games Studio
Gears 2, so the saying goes, was bigger and more bad assier.
Gears II Men picks off where the story (such as it was) left off. Marcus Fenix, the hairiest bald space marine, still likes he’s hit the protein shakes a little too hard and now his friend Dom is looking for his wife. The Locust are trying to sink a Serran city called Jacinto and apparently there’s some internal squabbles back at the Locust homestead. Its all just an excuse for balls to the walls action.
So the first Gears game was good but i didn’t love it like I did Halo 3 and CoD games. I found the difficulty, even on the wimp mode Casual too much of an ass kicking to enjoy it much. Gears 2′s normal mode is far more forgiving than the first game so the more hardcore nuts out there should start on hard. Gears also manages to not recycle its unique code. You ride control certain beasts once, you drive a tank once, not over and over. The shooting has merely been refined but it was easily the best part of the original. The sequel, with its more sensible difficulty and extra polish takes the best parts of the first game and makes them blissfully enjoyable to play.
So If you’ve played the first one (or even uncharted, lol) you know how the shooting works with stop and pop gunplay with its cover mechanic improved. But you don’t get the feeling that you’re playing the same thing over and over since everything is suitably mixed up. The game does kick your ass at times, but not always you’d expect it. Unlike the first game with its tough bosses, the sequel’s bosses aren’t an amazing challenge, but they are diverse and interesting. Yes, find out what to do and do it three times is in effect but I’d rather that than the final boss from Far Cry on Xbox 1 which just had 60 billion hit points. Hey, i prefer easy bosses. That said, I found the times when the game did kick my ass was in some of the firefights but It rarely got so frustrating that I wanted to quit. No Brutes and no Krillitane made me a happy gamer.
Removing the chaff from the first one, fixing the difficulty and adding so many new styles that aren’t constantly recycled over and over again, the game never gets boring. There’s never any area that feels like the Library from Halo CE that just goes on and on (unless you play Horde- more of that later). Multiplayer, never the best feature of the first game, despite its popularity, is vastly improved (with one caveat). The star here is a coop mode called Horde, which is basically Zap Brannigan sending wave after wave of his men at you. You have one life per round and its up to your team mates to heal you if you lose too much health, otherwise you have to wait till the next wave to respawn, so long as at least one member of your team survives. The other modes, all variations of more common MP games are there and they too are a lot of fun. Except the matchmaking (at the time of writing) was so amazingly broken that it could take 5 or 10 minutes to get into a match. Once you got into one, it was great but jeeze that wait for a match almost make me want to update firmware on my PS3 and see which finishes first. I’m not willing to bet money but it would be a photo finish.
This game has the best sorta realistic graphics on 360. Apart from the character designs of the Cogs, which are somewhat exaggerated looking, the things very pretty. It actually looks very ugly and dour, it just does it very well from an artistic and technical perspective. Framerate is a pretty constant 30 fps and never hitches and never suffers from badly timed texture loading. Halo 3 may still be the better game overall, but the graphics of Unreal 3 here are first rate. Its still the best advertisement for the Unreal 3 engine by far.
Sound is also top notch with excellent sound design helped by a cool and grand musical score. Voice work is top notch with the likes of Terry Tate as Cole Train and of course John Di Maggio as the voice of Marcus Fenix and a few others. Also here is Carolyn Seymour as the voice of the Locust Queen (she was in a really old BBC SF show Survivor but you’ve seen her in Trek, Quantum Leap and lots of other series)
So overall, I very much like Gears 2. Its a good value package with a single player that’s not over in 6 hours, a lots of coop and multiplayer options and will probably be installed on a lot of 360′s for a little while at least.
Controller1.com rating 3/3
Now Playing: EVERYTHING
As I write this, I am close to the end of Gears so I won’t speak about it too much other than to say this is really a much better game (for me) than the first. The first wasn’t bad but it felt like a slog to get through the game (even on casual). Gears 2 has none of the crappy bits from the first game that I hated- Krillitane and those blind Brutes who charged you.
There are other diversions such as driving a tank, manning turrets and a reaver chase as well as boss battles that aren’t just shoot 50 mags into a big sonovabitch. But basically this is a third person shooter at its finest. The next Max Payne (and Uncharted 2, while I think of it) have some catching up to do.
Controller1.com contributor Cameron held a little soiree last weekend and we cracked open the plastic toys and rocked out to Guitar Hero World Tour. We loved it and although we plan to focus test it soon enough, we all want to play it a bit more before we do so. As you see from this next podcast, we aren’t the most tuneful trio (well, better than The Police at least) so the eventual World Tour show will be epic in its disaster like qualities.
I’ve been attempting to play drums. I’m a sound guy in real life but drums have always been something that’s alluded me. I was hoping the drums with GHWT would help my rhythm a bit but the drums aren’t sensitive enough to make a decent MIDI controller.
The make your own song thing is rather crappy to use compared to Garage Band or Logic or Cubase, but then I find simplistic sequencers a pain to use. For many people, its great and I applaud this feature. But imagine a PC based program where you could import your own tracks if you have access to them (like you own indidual mulitrack ecordings with separate Bass, Guitar, Vocals and drums.
But then Activision would be out of business.
So I hope to play more GHWT before we focus test it and finish Gears 2 this weekend. Two more games have turned up- Little Big Planet for PS3 and Call of Duty World at War for PC.
I’m primarily a console gamer these days as I don’t have a gaming PC at home anymore but I now have a beast of a work machine that can run PC games at a decent clip so CoD WaW is getting a run on PC. If I end up wanting to play more multi at home, I will pick up a 360/PS3 version as well but for now I think the PC will soothe me. I have the Cod1 and its expansion, CoD2 (my all time favourite multiplayer game) and CoD4 on PC. I also have CoD 2, 3 and 4 on 360 and have also played some of the last-gen only cod titles on Xbox1.
So, yeah. I’m a CoD whore. Whether I become a CoD WaWhore, is another thing entirely.
Controller1.com Podcast #6 GEARS OF WAR 2
In episode six, Clint decides to hate on Gears of Wars 2 because it is Gears of War 2 (and he liked the first one) yet still looks, plays and sounds like Gears of Wars 1. George tries to get Clint to actually try and play the game before pronouncing judgement. Cam is the UN Negotiator.
“10 SHITLOADS” by Marcus Fenix
controller1.com presents excerpts from the autobiography of one Marcus Fenix.
Chapter 4 “MY FIRST CURSE WORD”
“I was 13 when I uttered by first curse word. It was a Tuesday. I remembered it very clearly since it was only a week after I got a bandanna for my birthday. I was fooling around in my Dad’s workshop when I accidentally hit my thumb with a hammer. “Shit!” I cried out as the thumb throbbed and pulsed, the pain indescribable. Out of that moment of sharp pain came a realization. I could swear.
At first I was sparing with my use of the word ‘shit.’ I’d stub my pinky toe on the door frame and inadvertently say ‘shit!’ I’d trip over on the street whilst practicing my roadie run and get my balls stuck on my Homemade Lancer. OK so it was a BB gun with mom’s carving knife stuck on with duct tape, but it still hurt. Pretty soon I was flinging the swear words around with careless abandon. “Shit this,” I’d say when I got bored with a TV show I was watching. “Screw that,” when I was told to get ready for church on Sunday mornings. Pretty soon I was swearing so much I was using curse words out of context so much that people could longer comprehend what I said.
I remember presenting an oral report in my senior year of high school. It was meant to cover causes of the Civil War but all that came out was ‘Jism cock turd overflow ass tits shitburger fuckerfacials.’ OK, so I got extra credit as well as detention but I knew I had a problem”
Other tidbits:
1) Mr and Mrs Fenix originally wanted a daughter and so they named their only son Marcy. Sgt Fenix was dressed in gingham dresses up till age three.
2) Dom loves singing Englebert Humperdinck songs in the Karaoke Bar. Word is that he’ s not very good at ‘Quando’ but his ‘Please Release Me,’ brings tears to your eyes.
3) Marcus Fenix has never taken steroids. He just looks like Ben Grimm’s stepson purely by chance.
NOW PLAYING: GEARS OF WAR 2, Demoes
Say what you like about Fable II (which I will do shortly when our review is posted), but Gears of War 2 is out and this is the 360 game you NEED to own this year if you have a remote interest in shooting games featuring bald space marines. Except Marcus Fenix has hair under his bandana.
I liked Gears 1. I didn’t love Gears 1 like so many. As someone who enjoys lots of shooters, I found the gunplay in Gears to be not as good as it could have been and, as I occasionally do these days, played that game on Casual mode (ie easy). I’ve started playing Gears 2 (on normal) and its far better balanced. I recently attempted a playthough of Gears 1 again in anticipation of the sequel, but apart from the fact the difficulty still sucked, I came up against a glitch that didn’t affect me on my original playtrhough (the push car getting stuck). This frustrated me enough for me to say, fuck it, I remember why I didn’t like Gears 1 as much as I probably should.
Its still early days in 2, but I’m far more impressed with it than I was at the same point in the original. It just seems so much more interesting from the get go and not as shallow. The story is also more interesting that the first game. Yes, these game’s stories are all interchanghable but there’s doing something to death well and there’s doing something to death badly. And this one seems to get it right.
At some point I will hunt down Resistance 2 and play that (I wasn’t impressed at all by the original) but I see that Gears will be my shooter de jour for at least the next few weeks.
Also played, a few of the recent Demoes released for some of the season’s big hitters.
Firstly: Tomb Raider Underworld. I played this for 2 mins. I realised I was probably going to pick this up down the track when it was cheap so I gave up pretty quickly. It looks great, plays as well as Tomb Raider Legend (the first Tomb Raider game I ever enjoyed) and this time looks to have been built with 360/PS3 in mind.
Secondly: Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts. Hmmmmmm. I’m not sure. This thing I took away most from the demo was how busy it looked. What you saw on screen wasn’t just crammed with detail, it was cluttered more than a level 70 mage’s bedroom is cluttered with diet coke cans.
I think Banjo shows the great thing about Rare. They don’t just make a game that conforms to a genre, or something that is easy to describe. It is also one of Rare’s major failings in that without knowing what to expect, its all too easy to be disappointed by the ambition sometimes not being realised. I can’t make my mind up whether I like this demo so I will still pick up the game soonish. Its not a particularly expensive game so that will help soothe the wallet sting if its not all that great.
It’s only partially a platformer the same way Uncharted is only very slightly a tomb raider style game.
Lastly, Mirror’s Edge. This is a platformer and bravely DICE have made this in first person, traditionally, the very worst way to make a platformer. The last game I played that attempted to make a first person game with decent jumping was Call of Juarez.
And that wasn’t the best bit of that game. Mirror’s Edge is all about parkour, that free running shit that is all the rage with the kids who are destined to be arthritic 30-somethings. The demo was quite good, but I don’t think that DICE have solved all of the problems but I’m up for somthing different. Hey, EA lost a bit of money just as they were starting to get out of making the same old same old all the time. Better get in on their good games now before they revert to licenses and sequels (as if there isn’t going to be Mirror’s Edge 2…)
Games of November
November is more than pale guys trying to grow handlebar moustaches, its also the month in which publishers decide to release their big games. This November is a corker. Let’s go through the biggies.
Gears of War 2
Gears of War is Xbox 360′s trump card this year. Fable II was great and Banjo looks to be of similar quality, but neither has that holy-fucking-shitness that Gears 2 has. I liked Gears 1 but wasn’t in-love with it the same way I loved Halo 3 and CoD games, but I’m still highly hyped to be playing Gears 2.
Will multi be better than the first game? maybe. Will the single player be better? Looks to be the case. Can we get more hyperbolic? 1000 times yes!
Resistance 2
You can tell who was an early adopter of PS3. They have two easy to spot traits. They are still eating noodles after they knock off from their second job and they say Resistance was the best game ever. I played it as a long as I could. While it was decent enough, it felt like a PS2 game. It played like one.
Resistance 2 is supposed to be the second coming. I will play it, but I’m not going to rush in to play it.
Quantum of Solace
Decent reviews. But not great reviews. This means this game goes in the post Christmas cheapie pile. I would like to play it at some stage, but not today.
Banjo Kazooie
I am a bit of fan of the original game and its sequel so I’m hanging out for this. I don’t really car about the building aspect, I just want a Rare game I can recognise as a game.
Little Big Planet
No next gen platformers for ages and t hen two come along at once. Will be picking this one apart when I get a chance. It was an October game until it good pushed back to November.
Mirror’s Edge
The demo is downloading as I type. Its such a busy season I don’t really know how I’m possibly going to play this before Christmas
Left For Dead
More cool games? Jesus.
Guitar Hero World Tour
Oh for fucks sake, I just got married and you’re trying to get me to leave my wife for
more games so cool my ass has gotten frostbite
Call of Duty World at War
YOU BASTARDS!!!! DAMN YOU, YOU BASTARDS!!!!!!
As you can see, I have some work ahead of me. I suggest you do what I do. Buy them all straight away at full price and watch half of them hit the bargain bins before you get a chance to unwrap them.
Oh, the pain. The pain, the pain.
I still haven’t finished Fable II let alone started on Fallout 3 or Rock Band.
Its probably for the best that December is actually quite bare and there’s really not much scheduled for January worth bothering about at this stage…
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