To nobody’s great surprise I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about Crackdown 2 in those horrible, cold hours that are the time I am not playing Crackdown 2. It wasn’t until Ravi forced me to explain my rabid defence of the game that I was able to really wrap my head around how I feel about the game. And it is thus:
Crackdown 2 magnificently succeeds in the areas that are the most important to me. Thus, to me, it is an absolutely incredible game.
All I wanted, at the end of the day, was more Crackdown. Now for different people more crackdown means a lot of different things. All I wanted was jumping off buildings, COLLECTING ORBS, and blowing people up with a homing missile. That’s it. To me, Crackdown is the never ending joy of finding an enemy, jumping, pressing LT to lock on and, while you’re still in mid air, pressing RT and watching the enemy blow up real good like. I swear I have a Povolv-ian reaction to this, just sitting there like an idiot drooling doing it over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. And then to top it off I jump off a building and get vertigo and land SO HARD on the ground that NEARBY CARS EXPLODE.
That’s Crackdown to me. Crackdown 2 has more of that. Therefore it’s great.
Crackdown (left) compared with Crackdown 2 (right)
For the life of me I couldn’t understand the backlash. It’s bad because it’s more of the same, but different? Who the hell complains about following up the best steak you’ve ever had in your life with ANOTHER STEAK BUT THIS TIME WITH EXTRA SHRIMP IN THE MIDDLE OF IT?
I have to admit Ravi had a point. For a lot of people ‘more Crackdown’ is about watching different factions fight each other for control of a city, or it’s about watching a working, vibrant city that is desperately trying to cling onto normality getting screwed up by crime. Some people spent most of their time in the vehicles, which I never really was interested in. And…OK, I’ll admit, Crackdown 2 doesn’t have that. The visually unique areas are replaced with a uniform desolation, and because everywhere is so broken you can’t enjoy being anywhere as much. I thought the Peacekeepers, Cell and Freaks would be the three factions that fight each other, but they’re all just everywhere and you never get the sense you’re in Freak territory or whatever. Everywhere is the same as everywhere else really, and that’s a shame. The city isn’t what it used to be.
I kind of miss it.
But, like everything else in life I miss, I try not to think about it and just play more Crackdown 2 and start grinning like a God damn lunatic again.
Editor’s Note: A less mentally unstable review of Crackdown 2 is coming in a few weeks
Reviewed on 360, DS. Also on PS3 Developed by Firaxis. Published by 2k Games.
I’m not going to waste your time by talking about the history of the Civilization franchise or the in-depth workings of how turn based gaming works for everyone out there who thinks ‘strategy’ is deciding between the chain gun or the chain saw in Gears. Short version: Sid Meier’s Civilization is the biggest video game ever made. You start at the dawn of human civlization with a motley tribe and work your way up to the modern day, all the while trying to take over the world. It’s incredibly detailed and incredibly awesome.
It’s also slower than Keyser Soze taking a jog and more detailed than a relief map of Michael Jackson’s face.
So, we now have Civilization Revolution. The big difference, despite it being on consoles, is the speed. A regular game of Civilization IV (the latest iteration of the PC game) takes about 30 hours from start to finish and if you really want you could push it to at least 80. I haven’t played a game of Revolution that’s taken longer than 4 hours and believe me I was trying to stretch it out as long as possible because it’s BRILLIANT.
I love Civ. I mean, really, really dangerously bordering on looking at it through its bedroom window at night kind of love. When Revolution was first announced everyone thought it was going to just dumb the game down but it’s not like that at all – it’s the same game at heart but now built for speed. Think of it like the difference between reading the original text of Romeo and Juliet and watching the movie version. Purists can scoff at the movie all they want but it’s got Claire Danes in it so purists can go jump for all I care.
For example in Revolution you start with a heap of base technologies that in the PC game you had to spend your first half an hour researching. This means you can get to the interesting techs a lot quicker and start to build your empire your own way in the first few turns. Researching also takes less time and it’s a lot clearer what each thing you can research ‘does’.
Oh speaking of building things your own way another cool feature of Revolution is that there are now four clearly defined win conditions you can aim for on each difficulty setting. I prefer the Financial win condition since I’m not a warmonger and it’s great that the game gives you the scope for that – the PC game always felt too dead set on war breaking out for me.
This game was released on Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 and DS. The 360 and PS3 versions (as far as I can make out) are identical and amazingly the DS version is near as damnit identical to the console versions. This easily makes the DS game one of the best DS games ever made. There were a couple of UI problems I had with the DS game that made me make some ill informed decisions (you can’t tell how many units you have in a city easily unless you activate them and them refortify them, aaaagh) but overall this is the console game in its entirety. It even has the downloadable weekly challenge packs! An incredible achievement.
Ultimately Revolution and regular Civilization are different enough that die hard fans like me should really get both versions. X-Wing and Star Wars Arcade are vastly different games but if you’re a Star Wars fan you’d want both, right? Right. An easily awarded 3, regardless if you’re a fan of the franchise or not.
PS: GO TO HELL GANDHI STOP TRYING TO NUKE ME YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!
I can barely see the screen I’m that giddy with excitement. This is probably the greatest thing to happen to the human race since sliced bread, penicillin and Alyson Hannigan. In June 2009, The Great Giana Sisters DS will be released.
I KNOW! HOW AWESOME IS THAT! HOLY FRENCH BREADSTICKS IN A PORN FILM, PEOPLE!
Now as you all know, The Great Giana Sisters is one of the best video games of all time. It’s one failing – if it can be considered a failing, because to me it’s its greatest asset – is that it’s best played on a Commodore 64.
The Nintendo DS is one of the greatest game systems of all time. It’s one major failing is that, unless you’re one of the cool kids with a homebrew cart, is that there is no way to play Great Giana Sisters on it.
WELL NOW THAT PROBLEM IS OVER. One of the greatest games ever made is coming to one of the greatest gaming systems ever made so therefore it will be THE GREATEST THING EVER DONE BY HUMANKIND.
Seriously, everyone out there who are still making video games: Just stop. There is no point any more. You’ve been bested. It’s like making music after The Beatles did Rubber Soul. You’re kidding yourselves. Video games have now reached their zenith and we can wrap it all up and go home.
CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO I MEAN DAMN
Dear people who are making this: I love you. I love you so, so much, with a love that is as pure as it is somewhat creepy. Send us beta releases so we may fawn over every pixel, sound effect and gaming bliss contained therein.
For the past three months I’ve been trying to decide between getting Guitar Hero: World Tour and Rock Band. Both EA and Activision are making this a stupidly hard and frustrating progress.
I decided early on that I’ll get Rock Band. After all, Guitar Hero 3 sucked so it’s a no brainer.
But wait! After months and months and months Rock Band still isn’t on Australian shores and Rock Band 2 is on the way. This sucks. I’ll get Guitar Hero: World Tour.
But wait! Rock Band is the better moral choice, right?. The real creators of the game have gone onto their own thing, so it’s best to support the ‘real’ game, right? And Activision are treating the GH franchise like a hot step daughter, giving it to any developer with five bucks and a case of beer.
But wait! Rock Band is rumored to cost roughly equivalent to a house mortgage. I’m married, I’m not made of money! Guitar Hero: World Tour becomes the better choice again.
But Wait! Rock Band just signed a deal with the Beatles. The Beatles! How can you say no to The Beatles! Rock Band is the clear candidate.
But Wait! You can’t get just the Guitar + Game pack for Rock Band, and I don’t have room (or inclination) for a drum kit, so Guitar Hero: World Tour becomes the best choice again!
But Wait! Rock Band suddenly becomes a lot cheaper than we originally thought! Rock Band wins!
But Wait! People all over the world are complaining about the quality of the Rock Band instruments. Time to get Guitar Hero: World Tour!
But wait! The single player experience in Guitar Hero: World Tour isn’t as polished as Rock Band’s. I should get Rock Band.
But wait! One of my favourite songs is on Guitar Hero: World Tour. Maybe I should get….AAAAAGH MY HEAD IS CAVING IN, I CAN’T TAKE THE PRESSURE ANY MORE MAKE IT STOP
