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NOW PLAYING: WEIGHTY PRECIPITATION

It could be worse- it could be Morbidly-Obese Inclement Weather.

So, Heavy Rain, the PS3′s first big hitter of the year has the makings of a huge hit, particularly amongst non-gamers easily impressed by pores. Despite losing a day of “gameplay” due to the apocalyPS3 this week, I’ve put in a few hours into the game (stopping when it hard locked my PS3 last night) and have gotten a feel for what it’s about. But nearly three hours in- I have picked a fight with some random guy and that was the only action I’ve seen so far.

This means that so far, I’m not particularly impressed by Heavy Rain. The story, the defining element of this game, may not have spun into top gear for me yet- but if it hasn’t, why hasn’t it? And if it has- God help us all.

So far I like and not like bits of this “game.”

Liked:

- Graphics. Even though nothing is happening, what little that does happen is pretty and fluid. Of course, it comes across as one of the high end graphics demos you used to see running instores selling PC’s.

- Trying to do something new with quicktime events.

-sound is well done. Great musical score, even if it borders on the melodramatic. Melodramatic game sounds melodramatic.

Disliked:

story, gameplay, characters, voice acting, hype.

I believe the game will appeal to non-gamers in a way that the Wii does and that’s a good thing if gets people using PS3′s for things other than Blu Ray movies. In time they might move onto actual games like Uncharted 2. But to me, it’s one enormous cutscene that I CAN’T SKIP. Metal Gear games are often derided by people who don’t play them because of the ridiculous story portrayed in the codec screens and cutscenes, but you could always skip these if you just wanted to get to the action. Because HR is a game of cutscenes, that would defeat the purpose of the enterprise.

HR brings back mandatory six-axis motions to effect on screen actions. I won’t use the word control because that would be too generous. To say you control this game the way is offensive to my DS3′s left analog stick. Let’s just say you influence your character the same way the actions in Star Wars influence C3PO- ie reluctantly and like a gay golden droid. The first three hours ofter some mundane home life tasks, an optional fistfight and some SCIENCE FICTION detective stuff. Note to developers: Don’t talk about reality when you offer up The Matrix in Ray-Ban form.

Some the blur is from the game, some is from my camera

“How far would you go?” n my case it’s about 2 Kilometres to the nearest EB games. Trade it in before everyone else does by the end of the first month and clogs up EB/Gamestop’s trade-in exclusions list.

If you are a fan of French cinema or thrillers aimed at the over 40 crowd starring Jodie Foster or Sandra Bullock, you might think the story is riveting. In which case, you could rent a movie with them and use your Six axis  as a remote for your PS3. It might be more fun. Maybe the thing that bugs me most is this a story in a genre I often avoid. Maybe I’m not ready for David Cage and company’s bold dream. Maybe it’s a shit game. Who knows?