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SUMMER MOVIE BLISS- WHAT ABOUT THE GAMES?

We have a bunch of blockbuster movies over the next few months but once again some of the biggies are missing that all-important game tie in. Wolverine had a tie-in with more gore than  the movie whereas Watchmen has a tie-in with less dong. Star Trek was an even bigger hit but only spawned Star Trek DAC on iPhone and XBLA. What gives, baby?

Let’s have a look at the biggies still to come.

Terminator Salvation. While its a safe bet McG’s terminator film is not going to be the greatest cinematic experience, you can bet GRIN’s game version will do good business before becoming a perennial bargain bin sweller. Just like their Wanted game. Terminator as a franchise has had more than a few videogame adaptations (I recall playing a decent T2 game on the Gameboy back in the day) but few have been very advanced so expectations aren’t the greatest.

Night at the Museum 2. This means Paul Blart will get a sequel and a game version. Oh Christ. There’s something to be said for a big budget version of Indian in the Cupboard but there’s nothing to be said for the sequel, nor its game.

Land of the Lost. There’s no game tie in. Where’s my Wil Ferrel alike in poorly animated cutscenes?

Transformers 2: …

Ice Age 3: So, hell has frozen over and there’s a third Ice Age movie courtesy of Activision, who seem to love having these games on their books. Brutal Legend and Ghostbusters no, but Ice Age 3, yes. People tell me the Ice Age movies aren’t bad but that’s like saying speed bumps aren’t bad. That doesn’t automatically mean good.

Harry Potter: When you look at it, this may well be EA’s last big movie licenses since they let go of Bond. It prints money despite the fact if you wait 2 months you’ll get it for half price. If you needed to. Of course, the Wii version already has a controller that looks like a wand or maybe there’s a broomstick with a space to clip on your wiimote and clench it bewteen your thighs while you play pretend Quidditch.

GI JOE: Well, EA obviously hasn’t completely gotten out of the biz of these tie in games since here’s a GI Joe game. Why GI Joe? Did I miss the memo that GI Joe was any good? I was a sorta fan in my youth for GI Joe but this film version- where every fucka wears Black. Jesus- Snake Eyes was always the guy in Black but now so is Scarlet and Duke, Hawk, Clutch Flash and whoever else. No colour left at all. Does this mean they’re reusing the Madworld engine?

But there’s no Inglourious Basterds game. A Tarantino flick is guaranteed to have more violence than nerds who don’t shower attending Blizzcon. Tarantino’s already had one poor game based on any of his movies (unless there’s a Jackie Brown RTS I’m unaware of), so there’s no real reason we could get a decent Kill Bill Part 2 game. There’s no reason we couldn’t get a decent Kill Bill Part 2 movie, but that’s a different story.