Never Played…
As someone who writes a blog about videogames, my knowledge and experience of games is not all encompassing. I have tastes, as does everyone else, and they are tastes that don’t always gel with most gamers. So I thought I’d mention some of the many types of games I have never played, or at least not played for more than five minutes.
Mega Man. I have never ever played Mega Man in any for. Ever. It has just never been on my radar. Even when I would have played a game like that. So when Mega Man 9 came out last year, I was thinking? Wat?
a Commodore 64 game. I never have ever played a game on a Commodore 64. I have watched as we Focus Tested an emulation of a C64 title on a laptop but never played an actual C64 game. We had Atari 800 computer in our house (which meant we didn’t have a 2600 either though you couldn’t grow up in the early 80′s without knowing someone who had one).
Final Fantasy. I tried to play FFX on PS2. I lasted about 10 minutes before I gave up because I couldn’t see anything that interested me. JRPG’s long ago lost their hold on me (I was into games like Y’s on the Master System and a few others on the MegaDrive/Genesis).
Sports games. I have never played Madden, FIFA, Pro Evo, Tiger Woods, Hot Shots, Mario Tennis or any of those games based on actual sports. 10 minutes of Track and Field back in the day was all the rapid tapping I could handle.
One on One Fighting games such as Street Fighter, Dead or Alive, Virtua Fighter, Tekken, Soul Calibur, Smash Bros, et al. They’re just not my bag, baby. The common theme among the Never Played Library is that I suck hard at these games.
Quake multiplayer. Have never ever played multiplayer of any Quake game. In fact, the only Quake game I’ve ever played is N64 Quake (and a bit of Quake II on the n64). This means I have never played Quake III Arena and it also means I won’t touch Quake Live.
The Commodore Amiga. My bro had one and as such I rarely played the dozens of games he had on it. I have memories of him having to swap 40 disks to load games. A lot of stuff looked cool but access was an issue. I tended to play more with ProTracker and Deluxe Paint when I had an opportunity.
World of Warcraft (or any MMO). I never had any interest in playing these games. There’s nothing more boring when you turn up for work and the MMO players are standing in the corridor talking about the raid they went on last night. The South Park episode sealed the deal and my antipathy for the genre means I can’t be assed watching The Guild because it makes no sense to me.
I guess I’ve played or at least tried pretty much everything I’ve wanted to play. There’s no game I haven’t touched that I ever think “Hmm I wish I played that.”
April 2nd, 2009 at 1:09 pm
You don’t need to be into (or even respect) WoW to watch The Guild. It’s really not a show about WoW at all. You just need to like things that are awesome to watch The Guild.
April 2nd, 2009 at 5:10 pm
Personally, I’ve never played one of those survival horror games where you’re plunged into hell and have to fight your way out with a flashlight and a camera.
I’m also totally opposed to MMORPGs (I want to keep my job, marriage, and custody of my child).
Also, never played sports games or racing games.
I’m all about the FPS’ baby!
April 2nd, 2009 at 7:35 pm
I have a serious problem with gam0r hum0r. I can’t stand Penny Arcade, and any five minutes of G4 programming makes me want to puke. I think it’s because I despise the portrayal of gaming, or any hobby, as a lifestyle. This is why I avoid The Guild, and anything else that Microsoft shamelessly splatters across my TV when I boot my 360. Fucking Spotlight channel. I think the primary reason that the New Xbox Experience was developed was to make the ads bigger.
Anyway, the only exception to this rule is The Angry Video Game Nerd, whose videos have a tone of mixed admiration and disgust towards video games that I think I share.
You guys should try Mega Man. It’s good. I like it. I don’t love it, but I like it. It takes a lot of practice and patience to beat a Mega Man game, but it’s fun and rewarding when you pull it off. 9 would be a good place to start, too.
I, too, have never enjoyed sports or racing games, unless they’re the outlandish, arcadey ones like NBA Hangtime or Mario Kart. Really, what’s the point of playing a realistic sports video game? You might as well go out and play the real thing! I feel the same way about Guitar Hero and Rock Band. Why would I play those? Bring back Um Jammer Lammy, and we’ll talk.
I played World of Warcraft for a while when it came out, and I liked its speed when compared to Everquest. I was gaining levels and exploring new places at the rate of a console RPG. Then it slowed down, and I became dependent on other people to make any progress in it, and I got pissed and uninstalled it.
I used to like fighting games, when the world told me that’s what I was supposed to like. Now I see them for the adolescent, archaic tripe that they are, and I hate them.
I like single player first-person shooters. I can’t stand multiplayer, and I don’t think I’ll ever enjoy it. I don’t see the fun in running around a tiny map and getting killed every two seconds, either by someone I can’t see, or someone I dance circles with while he absorbs a thousand bullets.
I loved Warcraft II and Starcraft, but that love has been spent, and real-time strategy games just don’t interest me anymore.
I’ve never played anything with “Tom Clancy’s” in its title, and I don’t think I ever will.
Japanese RPGs told us everything they had to say after Final Fantasy VI. I won’t play anything by Square Enix anymore. Western RPGs, on the other hand, are taking great new steps. I liked Mass Effect, Fallout 3, and after months of conditioning and re-education, Oblivion. Square could learn a few lessons from Bethesda.
Well, I’ve gabbed enough, so I’ll stop here.
April 2nd, 2009 at 10:24 pm
I forgot to mention I’m a huge fighting game nerd. DOA is probably the best of breed, but the recent Soulcaliber was awesome too.
Lisvender, you don’t like G4? Dude I’m all about Olivia Munn’s uhhh… perfect sense of humor.