FAQ: The Wii
Hardcore gamers feel the Wii and its success might mean the death of HD gaming. With the Wii’s lower development costs and higher user base (as of writing this, there are more Wiifit owners than PS3 owners in Japan), the system is starting to attract a lot more attention from publishers and developers, possibly at the cost of 360/PS3 focused titles. Core gamers fear the Wii the same way PC gamers feared the original Xbox would tempt the ranks of PC developers. Today, we answer some common questions from hardcore gamers.
Why are there so many crappy minigame compilations on the Wii?
Publishers, like hardcore gamers, had their attention focused squarely on the Xbox 360 and the PS3 rather than the Wii. With the PS2 being such a juggernaut last generation, publishers thought Sony was bound to pull a hat trick (rather than pull a hamstring) and concentrated on PS3 with Wii an afterthought. After the Gamecube, wouldn’t you have written off Nintendo? Minigame compilations and PS2 ports seemed to be the easiest way to release titles on the Wii.
When will we see hardcore games on the Wii?
Super Mario Galaxy was released in 2007 and was critically well received. It was outsold by critically reviled Mario and Sonic at the Olympics. Metroid Prime 3: Corruption was outsold by anything that you hate. No More Heroes, Zack and Wiki, Mad World and Boom Blox sold far less than Wii-Music. So the answer is, they won’t.
Is the Wii Gay?
No. The Wii is not gay. It just has more than just shooters, survival horror and racing games.
No seriously, is it gay?
No
Why do Wii games look blurry on my 1080p Bravia LCD HDTV?
This old chestnut. Your Wii looks blurry because every Sony HDTV features a Digital Signal Processing chip that can add defocus effect when it detects a Wii is connected. It automatically applies the filter so that Wii games look like a Vaseline commercial.
Dude?
Is that a question? Seriously. Is that a question?
Even though the Wii is super successful, why is Nintendo re-releasing GameCube games such as Pikmin, Metroid and Mario Tennis on Wii discs where the only update is so the titles can be controlled by a Wiimote nunchuck combo? Have they given up on making games?
That’s really two questions. The answer to the first is they are lazy and like money and this shit sells like a whore who gives away 25% off coupons in those free newspapers they give away in the supermarket. Er, I forgot the second question.
I said, “Has Nintendo given up on making games?”
Yes. Yes, they have.
