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10 Ways To Look Like a Dick playing Guitar Hero/Rock Band

10. For guitarists, trying to emulate some performance histrionics of popular guitarists (you know, real ones), be careful. AC/DC fans may want to emulate Angus Young’s duckwalk (or Chuck Berry’s duck walk if you think about it). This is dangerous, especially if you’re playing with a wired controller. If you get too carried away, you’ll end up pulling your PS2 or 360 of its shelf and onto the floor (let’s get our stories straight- it ‘fell,’ right?)

9. Drummers. What’s the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? You only have to punch in the notes once on a drum machine. A favourite trick of music videos and stadium concerts in  the 80′s was to pour a little bit of water on a drum skin so that all these impressive droplets shoot up every time the drum is hit. Now think about this, Putting water on a GHWT Drum controller is not a bright idea.

8. Vocalists. Well to be honest, there’s no way to not look like a dick if you’ve drawn the short straw to handle the vocals. 9/10 Rock Band/ GHWT vocalists are too ashamed to actually perform properly (its the only bit of Rock Band/ GHWT that relies on talent rather than coordination. That’s why most singers look like they’d rather be somewhere else but someone had already called shotgun.

7. Smashing your instruments/ Setting them on fire. Now Jimi Hendrix famously set fire to a guitar at a  concert and Pete Townsend accidentally but the neck of his axe through a low ceiling which led to the destruction of the instruments being a major set piece in some band’s shows. Now think about this. You’ve already paid good money for these toys and smashing them on the floor means its really hard play them. NOTE: Smashing your instruments may invalidate your warranty.

6. Trashing you hotel room, throwing the TV into the pool. Now you need the frickin telly in order to play the damn game. ‘Nuff said.

5. Tieing a scarf to your mike stand. You are not Steve Tyler and chances are you haven’t sired a child with a Playboy Playmate. Also, statistically speaking, your mouth is not big enough to pull this off.

4.Trying to get wild feedback through the guitar amp. Sorry to break it to you, you don’t have a guitar amp.

3. Say to your friends in  poor attempt at a cockney accent, “Turn it up to 11.”

2. Telling people you don’t play covers. Although you can make your own tunes in GHWT, you can’t make good ones. If you could, you wouldn’t be trying to make songs in GHWT.

1. Busking in a crowded subway station. There tends not to be large screen TV’s and PS3 consoles available in train stations. When I see a busker in a street, I feel sorry for them and give them some coins. When I see guys playing guitar hero, I feel like giving them a smack on the head.

Care to add ways to look like a Dick playing Music games? Add a comment.

There’s also the following ways to look like a dick without playing Guitar Hero or Rock Band

1- playing Rock Revolution

2- going on about how if you want to play the game on hard, you might as well learn a real instrument.

3- Wanking on about how Konami created the genre with Guitar Freaks.

4- Owning Guitar Freaks

5- Mentioning Frets on Fire in the comments